My point about the Pakistani mindset is they seem to believe that nothing bad is their fault, it is always the fault of the Indians or the Americans (or both), not a failure of their leadership, or the fault of the militants. Irfan illustrates this point by stating that the United States and NATO allowed bin Ladin into Pakistan. I agree that more troops and a more comprehensive approach would have been better in 2001/2, as does almost every serious policymaker and scholar these days. It is a delusion that was common in Iraq as well, that the United States is all powerful, so if something bad happens (an IED, Osama bin Ladin escaping, a missile killing civilians) it is because the United States wanted it to happen and allowed it to happen.
Irfan, I recognize that you are scared and that bad things are happening. We are scared too, of extremists with nuclear weapons. Our countries need to help each other. I don't think General Patreaus simply stating that the militants are a bigger threat than India will make Pakistanis change their mind, only an honest self reflection of who is really threatening Pakistan can do that.
I will continue to read and interact with Pakistanis, and I hope Irfan and his colleagues will continue with a similar open mind. An invasion of Pakistan--or China, or Tajikistan--is not on the table of discussion. But we do need to work together to concentrate on the real threats facing Pakistan: militants and an incompetent leadership.
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